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10 Very Convincing Reasons Candace Parker Should Sign With The Chicago Sky

· Candace Parker,Chicago Sky,General

1. Per Candace, it’s the “Mecca of Basketball.”

2. It’s also the mecca of pizza.

I will defend our marinara casserole to the death, and do not get me started on butter crust. But the fact is California-style is not even in the pizza conversation. When all you have to boast about your regional pizza is California Pizza Kitchen you are essentially disqualified.

3. To bring her hometown a championship.

We want it!!! It's our time!!!

4. She fits what Chicago needs.

Bear with me, here, because I’m about to get a little wonky: Chicago is pretty bad at defense and Candace Parker is pretty good at defense. Just consider rebounding: the Sky were 9th overall and 8th in defensive rebounding. Meanwhile, CP3 was #1 in rebounding overall and #1 in defensive rebounding in particular. Let me run the analytics… that would likely improve the Sky's rebounding and defense.

5. That Parker x Parker synergy.

Cheyenne Parker x Candace Parker!!! CP3 will become CP9!!! That's CP32!!! I will do that math but please don't ask me to do the math about to keep them both with the Sky's cap space.

Can someone photoshop Candace in to this picture for me?

7. I’m sure her soccer mogul duties can be handled remotely.

I mean, it’s one soccer team, Candace. What could it cost, $10,000?

9. COY James Wade would not bench her during a playoff game.

He would not do that. He would not do that right now.

I'm still mad at you, Fish.

10. I would personally feel great about it.

Thanks a ton.

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